I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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