theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
