she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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