i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
