butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
