We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
