Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
it was like his penis was on wheels.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
that is very illegal...i love you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
