i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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