that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
