Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize