Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
