Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
