Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
