yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
