Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
