Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I came so hard my ears popped.
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