You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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