just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
