Redeem this text for a blowjob
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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