jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She just used a chaser for red wine.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
