Buhtt sex?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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