Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
