can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
