I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
