She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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