he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
