I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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