i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so let's talk penis.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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