Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
