Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
two words...techno handjob
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Can I color on your dick again?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize