We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
