No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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