We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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