Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
