Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
