My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
