The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
