I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
