I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize