so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
