This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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