Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
