you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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