For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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