We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
