I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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