Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
