Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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