Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
