Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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