her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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