Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
