i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
