The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
