I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
