"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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