OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
