i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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