You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize