i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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